Last night was our Wonderfully Made Moms meeting. We discussed this question. We all feel alone at sometime, but I believe that moms of a child with special needs feel alone often.
Two weeks ago something happened that reminded me of what it felt like to feel so alone. As we get older, life seems somehow to get easier; actually, in reality I think it is because we adapt and because we learn to accept things as they are and, most definitely, we learn to depend upon the Lord more.
Trent has always adored his nephews and his nieces. He loves to carry them around and hug them. But whenever they reached toddler hood, they no longer wanted to be carried around or hugged so much; they wanted to be independent.
So it is with Matthew--our little China Doll. He is now two and very much a two-year-old. A few weeks ago, at church, Trent was playing with Matthew, and he was overdoing it a little. We have tried so hard to help him to understand why toddlers are the way they are, but he doesn't get it. In the process of playing with Matthew, Trent accidentally caused Matthew to slip and hit his head on a cement floor. It was a very hard fall and a major bang to his head. He immediately had a HUGE goose egg--the kind that makes parents, and grandparents, scared that something will go wrong.
We came home despondent. We called our son and asked how Matthew was doing. At that time, things didn't look too good. Off and on through the night, whenever we woke up, we prayed. God answered and Matthew is find, but going through that brought back feelings that I had not had for sometime.
"When will he ever learn?" I thought to myself. As much as we try, there are just some things that Trent can not comprehend. It feels so frustrating to be 61 years old and to still be teaching a child--a child who is actually a man. All of a sudden I felt that aloneness that I had not felt for many years.
Right around that time, one of the ladies in my Wonderfully Made Moms group e-mailed me that she was planning to be at our next meeting and she made this statement, "It (attending the meeting) keeps me from feeling so alone."
That's when the Holy Spirit gave me the idea for December's meeting. At the meeting I asked each lady to tell a time when she felt so alone in the process of raising a child with special needs. It was an enjoyable time of sharing and for our lesson I shared from the Bible three people who must have felt extremely alone at times in their lives.
The first person we talked about was Paul. Most of you know the story--how he was persecuting Christians, and on the road to Damascus a bright light blinded him. He then became a follower of Christ and a preacher of the gospel. So what else do we know about Paul? II Corinthians 11:23-30 is actually Paul's resume. Open your Bible and read these verses. All the horrible things that happened to Paul because he faithfully served God! How alone he must have felt during those times! And yet he just kept on.
Next we talked about Mary, the mother of Jesus. In Luke 1:27-39, we read about the angel coming to Mary and making the announcement that she would bring forth a son and would call his name JESUS. We know that she was a virgin. I especially like verse 38 which says, "And Mary said, 'Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word.'" Isn't that something? Knowing the ridicule she would face and the loneliness ahead of her, she trusted in God and she was willing to do just exactly what God wanted her to do.
Think about her for a moment! I remember when I was a sophomore in high school--46 years ago. One of the girls in my class became pregnant and was discharged from school. It was shameful and I can remember how shocked we all were when we heard about it. And yet, Mary lived during Bible times. How much more difficult it must have been for her. I'm sure that at times she felt so alone.
Then we talked about Jesus dying on the cross. The statement that touches my heart the most is when Jesus cried out, "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?"
I was the only girl in a family of five children. I was my daddy's girl. It would have deeply hurt me if he had turned his back on me. And yet, here was Jesus, taking our sins upon Himself, crying out those words to God the Father. Can you even imagine how alone He felt at that time?
Paul--beaten and imprisoned many times for preaching the gospel
Mary--Being obedient to God in spite of the ridicule she may have to face
Jesus--Taking our sins upon Him and having His Father turn His back on Him
All of these are such great examples to us--especially, of course, our Lord Jesus Christ. How did each of them get through this time of feeling so alone? Because their precious Heavenly Father was still there--always was and always would be.
In conclusion, what can I do when I face situations that make me feel so alone?
1. I can acknowledge that this will happen--it is quite normal.
2. I can know that God is present with me at all times. He knows; He cares and He understands.
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